Great stuff, Mikey, as always. Thanks for breaking down the ins and outs of the inaugural Warehouse Cup season. As a Baggage fan, I'll say you were rightly harsh about their Blitzball abilities. But in this article you were too kind about their Floorball results, especially, about our goaltending. In a fury of passion after Sam and the boys lost to Woogas, I jotted this down:
It’s time to talk about Baggage. And here I divulge my allegiance, as a life-long, tried and true, “Springer ‘til he dies” Baggage fan, it has been a heart-breaking existence. (I’ll note I’m also an Atlanta Braves and Buffalo Bills fan, so the Jolly, Joez, and Rourke walk-offs will live in infamy with the likes of wide right, the forward lateral, 13 seconds; and the Leyritz homer, the “out”field fly rule, and the 10-run Game 5 first inning). But honestly in this tournament, they just never looked up to par. In their playoff matchup, they were outmatched by the Woogas speed and athleticism. Jomboy’s strategizing kept the games close and their effort reasonable. However, the energy line that once was Jimmy and Jeff did not seem to have enough energy except for Sam’s dogged play down low. And now Baggage faithful...the time has come to have a discussion about Jake in net. That discussion is…he’s just too tiny. Compare him to Joez in net—he’s like half the man—he’s a half-man. Jake is half of a man. His goal-tending style doesn’t help either where he spreads out to cover the low shots, but leaves the entire rest of the net open. And for the love of all that is holy, please find a goalie helmet that fits or a chinstrap, or a different goalie entirely. Maybe Ref Kev can play goalie for them. And if, which is looking more and more likely, the skunk patch happens for Baggage, this fan will be wearing a suitcase over his head while watching the next Warehouse Cup season.
Jake's goalie efforts are definitely hampered by his physical shortcomings (that pun felt cheap even to me). One thing I do hold in his favour is that I consider him to be the best distributor of the ball from between the pipes. I think I said something along those lines originally but hidden hero Patrick - who has the unfortunate task of trying to edit down my bullshit into something readable - must have snipped it to get my ridiculous word count down.
I do think Baggage's core 3 are a strong unit, if you added one of the college players or hockey lifers that almost all of the other teams have I think they'd be in the mix for success. Having the two Jeff's has been fun though and I'm sure is a blast for the guys to get back together. Part of me wonders though if Jimmy somewhat intentionally handicaps himself by choosing to add the Jeff's rather than a Herrfort or a Janes, simply because of how annoying all the 'Of course Jimmy gave Baggage the best player' noise would be. Probably not a factor and there was never a consideration made beyond reuniting with Krauser and Paluck, but I still wonder.
"The cheaper the pun, the better" is my motto, especially if it makes fun of our beloved tiny friend.
Jake may well indeed be the best distributor of the ball, but that requires you to first actually save the ball. However, off hand I recall Drew being pretty a pretty good passer.
As for the three court players, you make a very good point that I actually didn't consider. Sam and the Jeffs (aside from Kelsey's husband) have been such an integral part of Baggage lure that I've never even thought of the fact that they are the only team (aside from Woogas) to not have a hockey ringer on their team in Floorball 3. This made for an awesome tournament with so much talent on the floor, but it also put my Baggage at a distinct disadvantage. They don't have the stamina and skill that the top players have and the other teams are racing past them literally and figuratively (just as you noted is happening in Blitzball). It looks like a skunk patch is on its way.
Great stuff, Mikey, as always. Thanks for breaking down the ins and outs of the inaugural Warehouse Cup season. As a Baggage fan, I'll say you were rightly harsh about their Blitzball abilities. But in this article you were too kind about their Floorball results, especially, about our goaltending. In a fury of passion after Sam and the boys lost to Woogas, I jotted this down:
It’s time to talk about Baggage. And here I divulge my allegiance, as a life-long, tried and true, “Springer ‘til he dies” Baggage fan, it has been a heart-breaking existence. (I’ll note I’m also an Atlanta Braves and Buffalo Bills fan, so the Jolly, Joez, and Rourke walk-offs will live in infamy with the likes of wide right, the forward lateral, 13 seconds; and the Leyritz homer, the “out”field fly rule, and the 10-run Game 5 first inning). But honestly in this tournament, they just never looked up to par. In their playoff matchup, they were outmatched by the Woogas speed and athleticism. Jomboy’s strategizing kept the games close and their effort reasonable. However, the energy line that once was Jimmy and Jeff did not seem to have enough energy except for Sam’s dogged play down low. And now Baggage faithful...the time has come to have a discussion about Jake in net. That discussion is…he’s just too tiny. Compare him to Joez in net—he’s like half the man—he’s a half-man. Jake is half of a man. His goal-tending style doesn’t help either where he spreads out to cover the low shots, but leaves the entire rest of the net open. And for the love of all that is holy, please find a goalie helmet that fits or a chinstrap, or a different goalie entirely. Maybe Ref Kev can play goalie for them. And if, which is looking more and more likely, the skunk patch happens for Baggage, this fan will be wearing a suitcase over his head while watching the next Warehouse Cup season.
Jake's goalie efforts are definitely hampered by his physical shortcomings (that pun felt cheap even to me). One thing I do hold in his favour is that I consider him to be the best distributor of the ball from between the pipes. I think I said something along those lines originally but hidden hero Patrick - who has the unfortunate task of trying to edit down my bullshit into something readable - must have snipped it to get my ridiculous word count down.
I do think Baggage's core 3 are a strong unit, if you added one of the college players or hockey lifers that almost all of the other teams have I think they'd be in the mix for success. Having the two Jeff's has been fun though and I'm sure is a blast for the guys to get back together. Part of me wonders though if Jimmy somewhat intentionally handicaps himself by choosing to add the Jeff's rather than a Herrfort or a Janes, simply because of how annoying all the 'Of course Jimmy gave Baggage the best player' noise would be. Probably not a factor and there was never a consideration made beyond reuniting with Krauser and Paluck, but I still wonder.
"The cheaper the pun, the better" is my motto, especially if it makes fun of our beloved tiny friend.
Jake may well indeed be the best distributor of the ball, but that requires you to first actually save the ball. However, off hand I recall Drew being pretty a pretty good passer.
As for the three court players, you make a very good point that I actually didn't consider. Sam and the Jeffs (aside from Kelsey's husband) have been such an integral part of Baggage lure that I've never even thought of the fact that they are the only team (aside from Woogas) to not have a hockey ringer on their team in Floorball 3. This made for an awesome tournament with so much talent on the floor, but it also put my Baggage at a distinct disadvantage. They don't have the stamina and skill that the top players have and the other teams are racing past them literally and figuratively (just as you noted is happening in Blitzball). It looks like a skunk patch is on its way.