The Race for the Warehouse Cup

The final sprint to be the ultimate Warehouse winner is on

Blitzball Battle 5 has just kicked off and as if the temperature weren’t already high enough in the Warehouse we have bigger stakes in play. Starting in 2024, we saw a new dawn for the Warehouse Games headline tournaments as they would all be boiled down to one ultimate winner who lifts the Warehouse Cup.

Here is how the scoring works:

The inaugural Warehouse Cup will be decided in BB5, and one team will write their name into history (and a few others might go down in infamy). But let’s recap how we got here.

Blitzball Battle 4

The Cup kicked off back in February with Blitzball Battle 4. With only 4 opportunities to notch points on the scoreboard, and two sports most competitors are less familiar with in Ball In Play and Floorball coming up, no team could afford a slow start. Through two games of pool play, MacFlurry Power and Woogas sent out a statement early with 2-0 starts. Love Yas likewise fell to Woogas to start 0-2, joined at the bottom by Joez McFly and Lou Dab of the newly rebranded Del Caribe after their alarming blowout loss to Hookline Sinkers and defeat to Trevor Plouffe’s Forgotten Rotten which would be nothing to be ashamed of it it weren’t for Trev’s new teammate, big brother Marshall, having just picked up a Blitzball for the first time. 

The four losers of the quarter-finals go home empty-handed in the Warehouse Cup standings, a beautiful representation of the cruelty of the Warehouse. First off, fan-favorite We Got Ice were outlasted by Love Yas in a marathon extra innings contest. Zero points. Next two-time Blitzball Battle champion Forgotten Rotten was sunk by Hookline in an enthralling match which saw Old Man Dan knock Trevor for a walk-off single. Zero points. Then it was Del Caribe’s turn to suffer as they were shutout by Kollin Stone and KMac of MacFlurry Power. Zero points. Finally Team Baggage were subjected to another high-profile punishing moment with Wooga’s headless chicken Dan Rourke crushing Jimmy for a walk-off home run in extras. Zero. Points. 

In the first semi-final, the seemingly unhittable Stone and his un-shut-up-able partner KMac locked down Love Yas.  Dalton Feely couldn’t find the zone and went through the sickening experience of throwing a walk-off walk. In similar fashion, Hookline Sinkers’ father-son duo (I believe it until I see a DNA test proving otherwise) of Dan and Drew were able to stymie Woogas hotshot do-it-all Jimmy Knorp and Warehouse wildcard Dan Rourke. In a nail-biting exchange of near-perfect pitching in the final, it was Kollin Stone who finally cracked the scoring and secured the banner for MacFlurry Power. And so, with one tournament down MacFlurry was on top.

Ball in Play 2

Next came the 2nd franchise installment of mad scientist Jimmy’s melding of Blitzball and Cricket: “Ball in Play.” I said pool play in Blitzball Battles is almost a warm-up, well in BIP2 it actually was as so many players were new to the sport and/or their teammates. Once the tournament was set, once again all eyes were on the teams yet to score a Warehouse Cup point: Rotten, We Got Ice, Baggage and Del Caribe.

First came Forgotten Rotten with Trevor Plouffe in MVP form, backed up well by new franchise mainstay Shelfy, returning pro cricketer Calvin Savage and lead by master strategist Justin “The General” Penik. They faced a team of disorganised young pups in Woogas with familiar face Luke O’Brien and Warehouse rookie Sanjay Krishnamurthi joining Knorp and Rourke. Luke and Knorp demolished overs from Penik and Shelfy for 25 and 23 runs respectively.. Set a near-insurmountable chase to win, Plouffe and Savage fought hard but realistically were always out of reach. Zero points. 

We Got Ice came next and the odds weren’t with them from the start. They came into the playoffs 0-2 looking disjointed and directionless. Star duo Jack and Zo were drastically out of rhythm, fighting thousands of hours of muscle memory to try and adapt to this new take on their beloved plastic sport. Facing them were a confident, cohesive unit in reigning Ball in Play champions Hookline Sinkers. Whilst We Got Ice threatened for a brief moment in the 2nd innings, Hookline shut them down to secure a comfortable 15 run victory. Zero points.

Now it was Baggage’s chance to try and shift the burden of being scoreless. And boy, their match against Love Yas got ugly fast. All three first innings wickets were lost in just 10 legal deliveries with Jake getting run out immediately after his opening salvo and Jimmy following suit the next over. With only 20 runs in the first innings they needed to get back on track with their bowling but instead were crushed for 62 runs. Baggage stumbled their way to a 60 run total, losing by an innings and 2 runs. Zero points.

Lastly came Del Caribe, boasting big firepower in rising star of Team USA vice-captain Aaron Jones, Lou Dab’s explosive bat, and Joez McFly’s lobbed off-speed bowling. Opposing them were 0-2 MacFlurry Power and I won’t try and build any more suspense because you all see where this is going: Del Caribe 61, MacFlurry Power 92. Wow. Zero points. 

MacFlurry and Love Yas faced off in the first semi-final, with commentator-turned-player Peter Moylan unleashing one of the great Warehouse performances to torment MacFlurry Power and almost single-handedly destroy the BB4 champs whilst straining his hamstring to look even more heroic. The quiet competence and resilience of Hookline saw them edge out the upstart Woogas, with another bowling masterclass from BBD strangling the run scoring capabilities of the deadly O’Brien and Knorp.

And so Hookline Sinkers once again marched to the final this time to duel the nascent Ball in Play power of Love Yas. Hookline opened up the first innings and ran into trouble right away, with key batsman Jolly Olive being held to three consecutive dot balls by the still-hobbled Moylan. From there, Hookline’s damage continued to be self-inflicted with all three of their wickets falling to run-outs on the way to a 26-run first innings. Before they could catch their breath the Sinkers were blitzed for 59 runs by Nicky Cass and Hammad Azam, and the game was basically gone.

Floorball 3

I’m not even going to try and properly recap October’s Floorball 3 because I can’t do it justice without turning this into a novel. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. If you’ve already seen it, watch it again. If you know anyone who has ever expressed even the slightest interest in any team sports, make them watch it. From game one all the way to the final, it was wall-to-wall action and drama. But we’re here to look at the big picture, and right now one storyline rules all. I’ve focused on it throughout, nudged at its grim importance, but never spelled it out. But here it is: Skunk patches. 

Any team that scores zero points in the first season of the Warehouse Cup will spend the next season with skunk patches on their jerseys. Their own failure emblazoned upon them for all to see. All these teams set out with a real and powerful desire to lift the first Warehouse Cup, but deep down for every competitor the pursuit of victory pales in comparison to avoidance of defeat. So now that you know what’s at stake, we dial in again on our scoreless teams.

This time around the play-off seedings lined up slightly kinder, with Forgotten Rotten and Del Caribe meeting each other in the quarter-finals and ensuring one of our duds would earn their first points. The grave nature of the situation brought out fiery focus and determination from Trevor Plouffe, who usually struts through the Warehouse with a performative casualness. With that effort from Plouffe, MVP-caliber play from new girl Leah Herrfort, disciplined support from Shelfy, and the elite goaltending of Lucas D’Aversa Rotten were too good for Del Caribe. Pressure off for Plouffe and his team, but as for Del Caribe? Zero points.

Elsewhere in the quest to not get Skunked, Baggage squared up against Woogas. Whilst I may be harsh on Baggage’s abilities in Blitzball, they are a strong Floorball outfit. Jimmy is a smooth mover with the ball on his stick; Jake is a tenacious goaltender; and Sam Taskey takes a break from tirelessly keeping Jomboy Media operational to run non-stop around the Warehouse from whistle to whistle. This strong core was joined by Jimmy’s high school hockey teammate Jeff Paluck. Woogas meanwhile featured two players in Knorp and Alyssa Cronin who had never picked up a hockey or floorball stick before this tournament, a psycho in goal by the name of Dan Rourke, and Jimmy’s little bro Luke looking to put the team on his back. If Baggage could shut down Luke with their organized and tenacious defense, this game had to be theirs. Oh, wait. What’s that you say? Jimmy Knorp is just good at everything? For goodness sake… Zero points.

And lastly, We Got Ice. In their way: Hookline Sinkers with franchise front-man Drew Davis between the sticks, one of the so-called-by-Pavel “unhung heroes” Jolly Olive, and new faces Lyndsey Janes and Tyler Johnson bringing hockey pedigree. For WGI, Doyle and DeMalia were once again joined by the fierce Reagan Rust. Rounding out the team was the oldest competitor in Warehouse history, Kevin ‘Kickball Dad’ Cronin. With Rust being an excellent player but a self-proclaimed “grinder”, We Got Ice are a tough team to face in Floorball but one lacking in firepower. In a back-and-forth thriller of a game, whilst newcomers Janes and Johnson shined for Hookline it was Jolly who delivered the dagger to We Got Ice's heart, Pavel Barber crying out from the commentary booth ‘Jolly Olive! Are you kidding me?! The most unassuming legend in Floorball history!’. With 48 seconds to answer Olive’s gut punch, We Got Ice toiled but came up short. Zero points. 

Away from the misery of the Skunk and back at the top of the table, MacFlurry Power blew past an imbalanced Love Yas team to become the fourth semi-finalist. Right on their heels, and facing them in the semi-finals were their year-long rivals Hookline Sinkers. The whole tournament had to be seen to be believed, but somehow these last deciding games were the best of all. We saw 22 goals in the three games, two overtimes, prematurely-popped confetti and ultimately a grisly shootout to crown the champion Hookline Sinkers, overcoming runners-up Forgotten Rotten. As such, here we stand at the start of Blitzball Battle 5 and the climax of this year of blood, sweat, and tears. But mostly lots and lots of sweat. 

It All Comes Down to This

Hookline Sinkers lead the way as they approach the final hurdle, finalists in all three Warehouse Cup tournaments so far and coming into BB5 with Drew Davis riding high and Old Man Dan making his much-anticipated return. Leading their nemesis MacFlurry Power by 4 points, a fourth finals appearance would guarantee they get their hands on the Warehouse Cup. As if each of these two teams' focus wasn’t locked on the other enough already, they face each other in their first pool play game on November 12th. MacFlurry has to not just succeed in this tournament but see Hookline fail, so I’m predicting provocateur-in-chief KMac to be looking to deliver psychological damage as well as Blitzball defeat.

The other two teams on the outside looking in, Love Yas and Woogas, need the pressure at the top to bring about collapse in both the front runners to pull them back toward the pack. All in all, the first Warehouse Cup seems to be Hookline Sinkers’ to lose, but the Warehouse always has a few twists and turns in store for us.

Now, we can’t ignore it any longer: Del Caribe, Team Baggage, We Got Ice. Zero points. One last chance, here we go. If you suffered through my Team Previews and have somehow made it this far once again, you know I don’t have the greatest of faith in these teams avoiding the terror of the Skunk.

These are Warehouse titans we’re talking about. Their DNA has seeped into the concrete itself. Baggage and We Got Ice have been ever-present across the history of the Warehouse, with Del Caribe also being mainstays since they arrived in Blitzball Battle 2 as Pinstripe Strong. These teams will be giving everything to not be remembered for the wrong reasons.