Spoiler Alert for people who have been living under a rock for the last 2+ days… We’re leading the American League Divisional Series against the Minnesota Twins 2 games to 0.

I LOVE beating the Twinkies in the playoffs. Absolutely, positively love it. Cherish it, ladies and gents. Cherish it.

You tell em, Billy Madison.

You know what is also great in the playoffs? Playoff Tanaka. In the playoffs, Masa is a completely different animal. Beast Mode. Call him Marshawn Lynch.

5 IP, 3 hits, 1 ER, 1 walk, 7 Ks. A lone RBI single in the 4th inning was his sole mistake in this one. Not trying to get ahead of myself here, but IF we make it to the next round, and IF we play Houston, they better watch the fuck out. When Masa is cruising, the whole rotation might be humming.
Just saying.

Shout out to Masahiro “Beast Mode Marshawn Lynch” Tanaka.

Since we won this game 8-2, and I’d like to cover the runs after, let’s run through the rest of the pitching – shall we?

Tommy K, Agent Zero Otto, and Tyler Lyons (lol – but good job, Tyler!) each gave us a shutout inning in relief. Johnny Lasagna ended up surrendering a RBI double…but who cares?

(I’m not going to use the Larry David yawning gif because I have been using it a lot. Just know that it would be placed right here)

Okay, okay. Offense. THE FUN PART.

Eddie E with a RBI single in the first, scoring DJ “The MVP Who is Better Than Mike Trout” LeMahieu.

Big G with a sac fly in the third, scoring Aaron “What a Guy, What a Guy” Judge.

Gley Baby with a RBI single right after, scoring Brett “Ain’t No Party Like A Gardy Party” Gardner.

And…after Gary was hit by a pitch, Sir Mariekson Gregorius strutted to the plate. Memba how Didi crushed a 3 run homer in the AL Wild Card game to totally deflate the Twins in 2017?

Well – I think it’s time officially call Didi “The Twinkies Killer.”

DIDIIIII GRAND SLAM AHHHHHH!!!

I love this team, I love this team, I love this team. Goddamn that stadium was bumping, I’m surprised the foundation didn’t start to crumble a little bit.

I need to get to a playoff game this year. Need to. NEED TO.

Just to add onto the onslaught, Gardy Party notched a nice RBI single to cap off the 3rd inning scoring. Yeah, that’s right. We did this all in the 3rd, baby.

HAHAHA. Beating up on the Twins is so much fun. Safe, wholesome fun. Ya gotta love it.

We didn’t score any more runs because, honestly? We didn’t need ’em! We’re too damn good. I’m not trying to get ahead of myself, but I’m stating #FactsOnly. I think we’re allowed to be a little cocky sometimes.

But, I’ll curtail it. (I’ll try at least)

8-2 win. 2-0 series lead.

Game 3 coming up in a few hours. The chance to sweep is here. Let’s fucking get it, boys. Apologies for cursing, folks. I’m hyped.

LET’S GO YANKS.

Follow me on Twitter @JohnnyStripes_

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