The Red Sox are Dead. Done. Finito. Finished. It’s over. Really over. I’ve said this before. I’ve been saying it for weeks.

BUT THEY FIRED DAVE DOMBROWSKI. They’re waving the white flag. Can we pop the champagne yet?!

No, no.

Not the World Series champagne. I’m talking about “The Red Sox are a mere shell of themselves from 2018” champagne. Can we pop that?!
I think we should.

It’s a damn shame that they couldn’t compete with us this year. In their attempt to repeat! It’s a shame. A crying, crying shame.

The offense was CRUISING.

In the 2nd.

GLEYBER TORRES IS 22 YEARS OLD WITH 35 HOME RUNS AND HE IS THE GREATEST 22 YEAR OLD TO EVER EXIST.

Did I cover all points there? I think I did…I apologize for yelling. Fuck, now my voice is hoarse. What are ya gonna do? Comes with the territory.

In the 3rd, Judgey added a RBI single and Gary had a RBI groundout. That’s 4, for you folks counting at home.

In the 4th? Mikey T. Aka Tik-Tauch on the Clock, But the Party Don’t Stop.

Beastmode. BUT, he then left the game with left calf tightness. Because, what else is new?! We keep winning and yet we keep losing guys.
It’s our lot in life.

Please be okay, Mikey.

But…as I said…cruising offense.

Masa, on the other hand, had another shaky performance. As JA’s stock is rising, Masa’s is falling…

As we head towards the playoffs? Hmm.

Curious. Curious.

He gave up a 2 run shot to JBJ in the 3rd and and back to back RBI doubles in the 4th. 6-4 game. Just like that.

His final stat line:

4 IP, 8 hits, 4 ER, 2 walks, 0 Ks.

Eh. Kinda rough.

6-4 game.

It was no problem, though. Our Captain loves helping out guys when they’re struggling. Except for that time that he stuffed Tyler Wade in a locker. But he was asking for it.

I’m talking about Judgey, of course. What A Guy, What A Guy. He did this:

Boom.

Gleyber added a RBI groundout to make it 8-4 and we headed to the bottom of the 5th. Chaddy “Is It The Chad? Green.

Chad Green.

3. 1-2-3 innings.

3 IP, 0 hits, 0 ER, 0 walks, 5 Ks.

YES, IT IS THE CHAD. Holy shit, what a performance to totally crush Boston’s spirit. Can’t get any better than that.

Ottavino gave up a solo shot in the 8th but who the hell cares? Johnny Lasanga took care of the 9th and that was that.

We ended up adding on to our lead with more firepower from our never ending offensive juggernaut! In the 9th, we were treated to a RBI single by Eddie E and a RBI double by…who else? Gley Baby. He’s 22, did ya know that?

10-5 DUB.

On a night where the New England Patriots celebrated their Super Bowl win by crushing the Steelers, we ended the Red Sox season. They are DEAD.

And their GM?

GONE.

What a turn of events.

Crazy. Bonkers. Bananalands.

Moving right along, as per usual.

Game 4 coming up in a couple hours…

LET’S GO YANKS

Follow me on Twitter @JohnnyStripes_

Write A Comment