Has it finally happened? Is James Paxton actually good now?!

Jimmy Pax, are we gonna do this? Are we really gonna do this?

I’m still skeptical of you, Jimmy. I’m not gonna lie. I have some serious trust issues that I’m trying to work through. But that’s exactly my point – I am working on them. And I’m starting to trust you. But I still don’t know if that’s a good idea.

7 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 1 walk, 12 Ks. TWELVE STRIKEOUTS. A ONE HITTER. The man was absolutely money, making those Rangers’ bats look like a bunch of narcs. Or a bunch of scrubs. Either term applies.

I was also supposed to go to yesterday’s game. FOR FREE. But my buddy ended up having to take his dad, who stayed in town an extra day.

I was the real loser here.

So…yeah….I think James Paxton is for real now. Fuck, I hope I am right.

After his stellar day was done, we threw Johnny Lasagna out there for two innings. He gave up one solo shot in the 9th. Who cares?

NOW. Let’s talk about some offense! WOOOO.

GARY HIT A YABO.

Later…HE HIT ANOTHER.

Because he is the best hitting catcher who has ever existed, despite being #FatAndLazy. Just kidding, Gary! I’m just mocking those dumbass haters who didn’t believe in ya. Don’t get it twisted.

In between those two Gary dingers, Mariekson Gregorius did this:

He’s a knight, you know.

6-0 lead. We didn’t need to hit any more homers…but why not tack on more to the lead? There’s one thing you need to remember about the 2019 Yankees…

Besides being an offensive juggernaut, who can hit homers as easily as me doing a front flip (I’m kidding. I can’t do a front flip. But I wish I could), we are a vengeful team. We don’t like being embarrassed by a bunch of jabronis from Texas.

We lost 7-0 on Monday? Okay, cool…we’ll demolish you on Sunday.

Cue…GARDY PARTY

20 Yabos on the year for that bald-headed and beloved psycho.

EDDIE E IS BACK.

HITTING HOMERS AGAIN.

THE PARROT IS BACK.

10-1 Win. What a fantastic game – A Gazillion homers and we have finally seen the potential of James Paxton, aka Jimmy Pax, aka Maple Syrup Pax.

Moving on…

The rubber match is coming up V soon. Like v, v soon (that means very).

LET’S GO YANKS

Follow me on Twitter @JohnnyStripes_

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