Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

Another Walk-off. We were down 4-0 this whole entire game, looking like we were going to get shut out.

Next thing you know…MIKE FORD WALKS IT THE FUCK OFF.

I love this team, I love this team, I love this team, I love this team, I love this team.

As the #1 Luke Voit fan in the world, I see Mike Ford doing what he’s doing and I HAT- LOL just kidding. You thought I was going to say “I hate it”…

Come on, I’m not that irrational of a Luke Voit fan.

Well, if Greg Bird was the one having success…I might be that irrational.

Ah, well. Not the point.


We came from behind, stole a game from the annoying-ass A’s, and won a goddamn series that we had no business winning.

We looked absolutely DEAD AND GONE. Shoutout to Timberlake.

Wait…do you wanna know the craziest thing about yesterday’s game?

JA Happ pitched 6 shutout innings. And only gave up: One. Hit.

6 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 4 walks, 5 Ks Holy fucking shit.

This was peak “2018 JA Happ.” The original guy who I nicknamed “Peanut Butta Happ” and “Mr. Consistency.”

THIS WAS THE GUY. HE’S ALIVE. WE FOUND HIM. HE’S BACK – ehhhh. Honestly, he probably isn’t.

I’ve learned from past mistakes. I know that I shouldn’t be bamboozled by flashes of the Happer of old. Bamboozled. Good word.

Regardless, this performance was an extremely welcome sight. Especially since our offense decided to do absolutely nothing in the first 7 innings.

And sadly for JA Happ, who put his blood, sweat, tears, bald head, dentures, and wrinkles into this performance, the bullpen RUINED IT.

NOW, to be fair, this game kinda turned into a “punt” situation. Our elite bullpen arms of Tommy K, Zack “With a K”, Agent Zero Otto, and Classic Chappie need to be rested. It’s almost playoff time, baby. We gotta think of the priorities.

Because of this, we’re gonna have to trudge out scrubs like Chance “The Fake Cali Teen” Adams and this new guy: Ryan “Can His Name Get Any More Boring” Dull.

Ryan Dull. That is easily the most boring name in the history of names. Is it…dare I say it…the dullest.

Sorry, I’ll see myself out for that one.

What I’m trying to say is that it made sense for Ryan Adams and Chance Adams to fuck this game up. It appeared that we were taking an L before we even actually took one.

The offense wasn’t doing shit, save the bullpen. Seemed smart.

Dull gave up 3 earned runs in the 7th on a 2 run double and a RBI groundout. Chance gave up a solo shot in the 8th and we were down 4-0.

But then…wait what? We decided to try again?!


Mikey T walk – DJ single – Judge walk to load the bases – Gley Baby sac fly. Not long after…


Just. Like. That.

In a state of utter shock and panic, Aaron Boone woke from his “punt coma” and decided to actually care about this game again.
He was like that “sleeping in class gif guy.” Hang on. I’ll find it.


Yup, Boonie decided to care about this game and threw Agent Zero Ottavino in for the 9th. Adam “Everyone’s Favorite Guy from Brooklyn Besides Biggie and Jay Z” Ottavino took care of business and we headed into the bottom of the 9th. Down 1.


First? Gardy Party. Brett Fuckin Gardner.

I fucking love Brett Gardner. I want him back on this next year and if you do not, you’re crazy and I kinda want to body check you. Like that DJ I keep pretending to threaten.

All jokes aside, Gardy is a true-ass Yankee and I think he can still have a role in 2020. But I digress…

In another bold stroke of genius, Boonie pinch hit for Clint Frazier. And Princeton’s own, Mike Ford, strutted to the plate. I Don’t Pop Molly, I Rock Tom [Mike] Ford.

You all know what happened.

Take it away “This Magic Moment.” Second in two days, baby.

5-4 comeback DUB to stun those assholes from Oakland. What a goddamn game. I say it all the time but I love this fucking team so much.

Let’s gooooo.



Now we’re just waiting on this Rangers game to start. If we play it today, we should try and win…just saying.


Follow me on Twitter @JohnnyStripes_

Write A Comment