This game was embarrassing for the poor Orioles. What an absolute beatdown. Smackdown. Domination. Annihilation.
Could this be perceived as bullying? We were, basically, straight bullying this terrible, terrible team.
But here’s the kicker – all of our “bullies” are new kids in school. The main bullies who used to dominate the school, like that monster Giancarlo and that lovable but dangerous kid named Gary, are either suspended or injured from punching too many kids.
So instead…the new bullies like Kyle Higgy, Killa Cam, and Gio Urshela have taken the school by storm. And by that, I mean kicking the shit out of Baltimore.
Wanna hear something crazy?
James Paxton didn’t give up a homer in the first inning..
He gave up a solo shot to Trey Mancini in the 4th, BUT THAT WAS IT.
He looked good. Very good. Very, very good.
6.2 IP, 5 hits, 1 ER, 1 walk, 7 Ks.
Props to you, Jimmy Pax.
Then, Chance Adams came into the game…and only gave up one RBI double! Chance “The Fake Cali Kid from Scottsdale” Adams went out there and gave one of the most surprising performances of the year. Kinda. Not Really. Maybe a little.
Okay…I wanted to get through the pitching performances, so I can now talk about our 14 run SHELLACKING.
Killa Cam, Aka “Call Me Maybin,” got things going with a nice RBI single…starting things off slow. I respect that.
With Didi and Cam on base…the second best backup catcher in the league decided to GO DEEP.
KYLE HIGGY IS COMING FOR THAT CROWN, ROW ROW.
In the 5th…the man who we got for cash considerations, who people said could not produce offensively, and who is definitely the most happy fella, hit anotha yabo.
GIO THE GOD.
He ended up hitting another one…in the very next fucking inning.
Oh – we also sprinkled in a pair of RBI singles, from DJ and Judgey, in between the marvelous Gio bombs.
We’re at 10 runs now, if you’re keeping score.
Gardy recorded a fielder’s choice RBI to finish the scoring in the 6th and it looked like things had calmed down.
But…in the 9th…we wanted to leave the Orioles with a lasting memory of us at Camden Yards. And we, clearly, wanted to continue to pad the “homer record at a visiting ballpark” statistic. (Finished with 40 at Camden)
We’ve also hit 52 homer against the Orioles this season, home and away. Another MLB record.
I love this team, I love this team, I love this team.
Also, shoutout to Tommy K. It was his birthday yesterday and he was LOVING the dingers. Loving ’em.
Okay, Baltimore. Sorry we swept ya and embarrassed you in your home ballpark. But, it was alot of fun for us! That matters to you, right?
LET’S GO YANKS
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