Goddamnit. Who would’ve thought it was going to be THAT difficult to get a single win in Cleveland. Fucking Cleveland, man.

The Yankees clearly didn’t care about my beating heart, as well as it’s wellbeing.

I’ve hated traveling to Progressive Field ever since the Cleveland personnel set a pack of rabid gnats lose on Joba Chamberlain. The 2007 ALDS was an inside job.

Stay. Woke.

On this particular day, almost 12 years later, we should have won this game easily. And then, we should have lost spectacularly. BUT, we somehow were able to squeak across a win. This was honestly one of the most frustrating and aggravating games in recent memory. No joke. When I say “no joke,” you know things are serious.

Because I, Johnny Pinstripes, do love to crack jokes – quite often, in fact.

But I digress…

Going with the dreaded ‘opener game’ for what felt like the billionth time, Chaddy Green and Nestor Cortes actually looked great. 2, one-hit innings for Chad, while Nestor pitched a 3 inning perfect game. Yeah – I’m scoring that as a Nestor Cortes Jr perfect game…

Who knows if he’ll ever have a perfect inning again, let alone three. Or nine. I obviously for the unnecessary hating-on-you, Nestor.

As for the offense, our guys were BALLING.

Remember Gardy’s helmet boomeranging back at him? And making him get a bunch of stitches?

Well…maybe those stitches were a GOOD LUCK CHARM.


I’ve heard Stitches-Gardy is even more rowdy at parties than Normal Gardy. True story.

DJ “DJ Khaled Anotha One” added a RBI single because he cannot be stopped and Luke added a 2 run double because he is #MYFIRSTBASEMAN and also cannot be stopped. He is, in fact, leading all AL first basemen in the All-Star Vote. Not to brag.

Oh, and all these runs happened in the SECOND inning. 5-0 lead.

When Chaddy and Nestor were done mowing down hitters, everybody and their mother thought that Tommy K would continue the pattern.


A solo homer, a single, a RBI single, and a 2 run homer and boom – It’s only 5-4. Factor in Ottavino giving up a solo shot of his own in the 7th inning and this ballgame was all tied up.

Notice how I didn’t call Ottavino by his “Agent Zero” nickname. I’m mad at him right now. And Tommy K too! I know that Tommy was a surprise with his return to form this year, but he’s been absolutely so money. Seeing him have a shitty game like this is very frustrating.

Luckily, Zack “With a K, Not an H” Britton gets to keep his nickname, throwing a shutout 8th inning.

In the 9th, after a single by Luuuke, double by Gary, and a walk to Gley Baby, Clint the Wildling gave us the much-needed lead on a sacrifice fly.

Blow a 5 run lead, get the lead right back!! Love that.

You know what I don’t love? Blowing the game – AGAIN.

Classic Chappie struggled in the first part of the 9th, surrendering a single AND a walk. His signature 9th inning mistakes. BUT, after retiring the next two batters, it looked like a win was imminent.

And then…fuck. A grounder to Didi, a terrible error and this game was tied again…

All signs had been pointing to us blowing this game permanently. But then we were like “naaahhhhhhhh.”

Hicksy gave us the 10th inning lead, driving home Cam “Call Me Maybe” Maybin on a RBI double (Cam had a double too – shout out, Cam)!!!

In a scary, scary, scary decision, Boonie brought out Stephen Tarpley for the save – but mainly because our bullpen was almost totally gone at this point…

What?! How?!

Nevermind, I won’t question that shit. I’ll just take it!

7-6 win! What. A. Game.

Time to say goodbye to beautiful Cleveland. Ohio…Ohio – Sunshine State.

We’re moving onto our friendly, neighborhood Mets. It’s a damn shame that we’re going to crush and destroy their hopes and dreams…Poor Mets fans…


Follow me on twitter @JohnFerraro_

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