Here is a statement of fact: Gleyber Torres is really good at baseball. That isn’t an opinion, it is a goddamn fact.

Fact #2: Brian Cashman pulling off that trade that sent Chappie to the Cubs (before we signed him back), in exchange for Gleyber was spectacular.

Fact #3: Gleyber Torres is only twenty-two years of age. 22. That is fucking absurd. This kid is two years younger than me and he is already one of the best players on our team. He is, arguably, our best player right now…

BUT…that isn’t a fact, that is an opinion. See the difference? Above, I was listing straight facts – but then I ventured into the “opinion landscape” and so, this segment of my blog will end. Farewell.


After two frustrating days of rained out baseball on Monday and Tuesday, we were given a nice day-night doubleheader on Wednesday. Two baseball games are, usually, better than one – unless when you get swept.

Luckily, we were on the right side of this sweep! To be fair, though, sweeping a terrible team like the Orioles almost feels like a form of bullying. Almost.

We took care of business in SHORT order in the first game. Really, really, really, really, short order. 2 HOURS AND 12 MINUTES

It was our fastest game + victory in 5 years. Kinda wild, right? Note: Instead of ‘wild’ I wanted to say ‘banana-lands’ or ‘bananalands’ – this equals “crazy, bizarre, wild, odd” or any of the above. Sound good? Good.

I’ll stop ranting now.

JA “Peanut Butta” Happ wasn’t at his full “Mr. Consistency” level, but he was still very serviceable in this outing:

5.1 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 0 walks, 3 Ks.

He gave up a pair of solo dingers, as well as a RBI double, before his day was done.

Fortunately, we decided to have a fantastic Home Run Derby of our own!


2019 Gary continues to mash, making 2018 Gar a distant, distant memory

Next up? Gley Baby!

I talked about him earlier, memba?

Tying it all in.

Cameron Maybin had a 2 for 1. No, he didn’t hit two homers, nor did he hit a 2-run homer. With one swing of his bat, he entered the Home Run Derby club, as well as the “Guys Who Have Hit Homers with the New York Yankees Club”

Attaboy, Cam!

Oh yeah…

And Gleyber hit his second YABO of the day:

He’s 22 years old, in case you have forgotten the beginning of my blog. Twenty-two. That ain’t a typo, baby! This kid is amazing.

Dark Wizard Cashman strikes again.

OH! Big shout out to Mike “Tick-Tauch on the Clock, But the Party Don’t Stop” Tauchman with a nice RBI single for our 5th and final run.

He was sent down to Dunder Mifflin-Scranton, before being immediately recalled as our 26th man for the doubleheader. Props to you, Mikey T.

As for our bullpen arms, we got to see the full strength of our guys. The A-Listers. The big guns. Minus Dellin, of course…

Agent Zero Ottavino gave us a shutout inning, Tommy K looked AMAZING getting 2 outs, and Zack “With a K” and ‘Classic Chappie’ pitched shutout innings of their own.

Of course, Classic Chappie gave up a base hit – it wouldn’t be a true save for our man Aroldis, without it.


The second game update is coming real quick. Real fucking quick. Shoutout Aubrey “Drake” Graham.

Follow me on twitter @JohnFerraro_

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