Tropicana Field is a fucking embarrassment. It is an abomination. It is a violation to all things sacred and pure in the game of baseball!

Lmao. I was totally kidding about that last line above, but the point remains the same. The Trop is a total shithole.

I cannot believe that place is able to sell tickets as a baseball stadium. It’s unreal.

Winning 2 out of 3 against the “first place” Rays will definitely dull the pain of a terrible baseball stadium. For what it’s worth, I put “first place” in quotations because let’s be real: The Tampa Bay Rays will not be in first for long.

We all know that this season is eventually going to develop into a Yankees/Red Sox battle for supremacy. It is known.

Shoutout to Game of Thrones. I’m exhausted today, as I write this blog, because Episode 5 had me fucked up last night. But I digress…

We crushed the Rays 7-1 in yesterday’s finale. We only had 3 runs as we headed towards the 9th inning. HOWEVER (yep, my Stephen A. voice is back – what a surprise), then the lights went out at the Trop – because, like I said, it’s a SHITHOLE. And we added 4 more runs afterwards *shrug*. Go figure.

Masa was back to being ‘Good Masa’ again. Phew.

7 IP, 5 hits, 1 ER, 0 walks, 7 Ks.

The man was absolutely CRUISING. Grooving. Balling Out. All of the above, and more. He also only needed 73 pitches to get through 7 goddamn innings.

That, my friends, is what we call efficiency. Efficiency at its peak form. Props to you Masa, for operating at peak performance. That’s our guy.

The only run that Tanaka gave up was a trivial solo shot in the 6th inning. *Yawn*

As for our pitchers in this outing, Zack “With a K” pitched a shutout 8th, albeit surrendering two base hits.

AND, Chaddy Green is back, baby! He returned from a quick stint in Michael Scott’s hometown, looking like the Chad Green of old – let’s fucking go!

HE STRUCK OUT THE SIDE IN THE NINTH. Hell yeah.

Okay, okay.

Let’s talk some offense, shall we?

We tallied our first two runs of the afternoon in the 5th inning, off a Mikey “Tick-Tauch on the Clock” “Ke$ha” Tauchman RBI double, followed by a DJ “DJ Khaled” “Another One” LeMahieu RBI single.

Look at DJ Khaled and Ke$ha working together to drop the hottest track of 2019. Haha. I crack myself up.

Our third run crossed the board, in the form of #MYFirstBaseman barreling home on a wild pitch. For a brief moment, the Tampa Bay Rays thought that Luke Voit was out.

THEY WERE WRONG.

Flash-forward to the lights going out in this ridiculous stadium. #DownWithTheTrop

After the lights flickered back into existence, we were greeted with a nice YABO.

THAIROOO. Big fan of this kid. And he’s clearly been impressing the coaches and the front office. Making most of his opportunity – that’s the way to do it!

With the bases chock-full (that’s a saying, right?) of Yankees: namely, Row Row Row Your Boat, Tick-Tauch On the Clock, and #MYFirstBaseman…our best hitter strolled to the plate.

GIO “THE HAPPY FELLA” URSHELA WITH A 2 RUN DOUBLE

Goddamn, this dude is the fucking man!

Gardy added a sacrifice fly to the scoreboard and that took care of business: 7-1 shellacking in St. Pete, winning the series 2 games to 1. Love it.

Moving onnnn.

Tonight, we start a nice 3 game set versus the scrub Orioles. Poor, Baltimore. I guess we’re just going to have the kick the shit out of them, eh?

On second thought…knowing our luck with the O’s, they actually might give us some trouble – fuck

LET’S GO YANKS

Follow me on twitter @JohnFerraro_

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