Gio Urshela and DJ LeMahieu

At this point last year, one guy was wasting away between the Indians and Blue Jays, after just being DFA’d. The other guy was wasting away in the unsuccessful franchise of the Colorado Rockies.

Sorry, ‘Rado.

Last night, these two studs were the driving factor to steal a victory against the Mariners, as we keep on winning. In the words of the guy I nicknamed DJ after, all we do is win.

Well, not always…but a lot of the time!

Soo, how did we get to that point last night?

I know, I know – I’m talking to myself right now, guys. Sorry for being all weird. But, I’m gonna tell you how we got that point…you can book it!

It was #TanakaTuesday yesterday in New York: a glorious holiday, that has come to rival “Taco Tuesday” in the showdown for the ultimate Tuesday.

“Domingo on a Domingo” has already taken over Sundays, but that is a whole other discussion.

Masa was definitely better than his last outing, but he still wasn’t the dominant, smiling, lovable, yet feisty Masa that we desperately need. Those were a lot of adjectives to describe our boy, Tank. Are any of them wrong? Nope.

6.1 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 walks, 4 Ks.

Like I said, it was definitely a step-up from his previous performances of 3 ER and 5 ER, respectively, but it’s progress! #Progress..He’s moving on up in the world!

Just kidding…please get back to ‘Normal Tanaka,’ Masa. Please.

His lone runs, though, were a sac fly in the 2nd, albeit underrated, and an Encarnación solo shot in the 6th. It’s not like we were giving him any run support!

As he exited the game, our only measly run was a Gardy ground out.

Yankees batters should have been saying this to Masa:

They let him down!

Luckily, we made up for it…

HOWEVER (yes, the Stephen A. voice is back, of course), we allowed them to tack on a couple more runs against our ‘pen. Holder took care of biz (that’s slang for business, folks) in the 7th, before turning it over to Tommy K in the 8th.

DON’T BLAME, TOMMY K. The two runs, scored from a pair of RBI hits, were unearned – Gio “The Wizard in the Infield” Urshela made the first error in his entire lifetime: childhood, minor league, majors. NEVER MADE AN ERROR. Okay, just kidding. Don’t worry, The Happy Fella had his redemption story later…

Gardy scored our 2nd run of the game off a wild pitch, and we headed into the 9th down 4-2. Okay, here comes a quick Boonie rant.

I know that Aaron Boone has exceeded expectations with this Triple-A lineup. For all the criticism of our manager, he has done a solid job this year. NEVERTHELESS, why the FUCK is Joe Harvey getting the nod in the 9th inning? Of a 2 run game?

Absurd. Absolutely absurd. Harvey was able to pitch a shutout 9th, but not before giving up two basehits to make us all sweat a little bit. No harm, no foul, but I simply do not understand you, Aaron Boone. I cannot fathom your thought process.

Cannot. Fathom.

Fast-forward to the bottom of the 9th.

Clint flied out to start the inning. His fielding was god-awful last night and that’s all I wanna say about it. Please figure your shit out, Wildling.

Gley Baby notches a single, setting the stage for infamous slugger and power hitter, Gio “Barry Bonds” Urshela. This dude mashes yabos in, pretty much, every single one of his bats. So, no surprise when he:



I love this dude; we knew his fielding was going to be top-notch. But, holy shit. The man’s hitting has been off the charts.

Off the fucking charts.

He currently has a .360 BA, a .424 OBP, a .970 OPS, and .547 SLG.


BUT, let’s get back to the game! Because we were only tied at this point!!

Cameron “Call Me Maybe” “Carly Rae Jepsen” followed Gio’s knock with a nice, single – then, he stole second. Attaboy, Cam.

After a Gardy strikeout, here we go: DJ “DJ LM On That Beat” “DJ Khaled Anotha One” strolled to the plate.

And on a 1-0 count…

You know what? I’ll let Jomboy’s This Magic Moment sign us off

What a comeback victory. This team is soooo fun.

Love it, love it, love it.

One last point:

Hell of a slide by Cameron!

That was far from a sure-thing play at home. A poor slide, and there would have been no walk-off. Once again, Attaboy, Cam!


We’ve already won the first two games of this four game set. If we win tonight, we win the damn series. My fellow Johnny, Johnny Lasagna, is on the bump!!


Follow me on twitter @JohnFerraro_

Write A Comment