Going on West Coast trips can be tough for East Coast teams, especially for Yankees teams of old. Now, this year we didn’t seem to have much trouble as our RailRiders headed West.

Still, getting those faraway teams to travel to our neck of the woods is always a fun endeavor. Ooh: “endeavor”

Look at me breaking out the fancy SAT words for this game recap.

But, yeah – we got to beat up on the Seattle Mariners last night. It was pretty fun.

And, HOLY SHIT.

“King” Felix Hernandez. Oh, how the mighty have fucking fallen. I specifically put king in parentheses, because this dude is sure not pitching like a King anymore.

This man has fallen harder than Roose Bolton, the second after he legitimized his son, Ramsay. It was all downhill after that.

If you don’t watch Game of Thrones, you probably think I sound like a HUGE nerd at this very moment. You know what? I don’t care.

Sometimes, you just gotta embrace your nerd-ness…yes, I’m aware that isn’t a real word… Where was I?

Oh, yeah. We LIT UP the artist formerly known as ‘King Felix.’

First:

#MYFIRSTBASEMAN YABO!! FIRST PITCH

I won’t brag about my boy Luke, though, because is there really anything else to say? That impostor, Greg Bird or whatever they call him, is pretty much out of a job officially. But, I won’t say anything more on the subject.

Except one more #MYFirstBaseman. Sorry, I had to do it.

Next, it is true what they say:

There ain’t no party, like a goddamn GARDY PARTY

And look at the short porch, working to our advantage once again.

Love it.

HEY!

Thairo “Not Erik” Estrada!

I’m not sure how long you will be up here for guy (hint: Not long), but you’re now OFFICIALLY in “the Show”!!

2 Run dinger and a fantastic play in the field.

What a game for the rook.

Gio “The Happy Fella” and DJ “DJ LM On that Beat” added a couple of RBI singles to cap off our scoring at seven. We didn’t even need all those runs though! Look at us, scoring in excess!

Carsten Charles continued to pad his Hall of Fame numbers with another win (248) and 5 more strikeouts (3,312). His stat line?

5 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 3 walks, 5 Ks.

Not a stellar performance, but it got the job done – he gave us five, productive innings before turning things over to the ‘pen. Attaboy, Big Guy

Jonathan “He Seems To Be Getting a Little Better” Holder has been looking pretty solid recently. Last night….eh, it was a tough one. He loaded the bases, before getting pulled for Adam from Brooklyn.

Luckily, Agent Zero Ottavino LOVES a nice plate of loaded nachos – he took care of the Mariners’ bats pretty easily.

Britton and Cessa took care of their jobs too, and we got a fun, simple 7-3 dub.

PUT IT IN THE DUB CLUB.

Side note: Gio Urshela is still a goddamn wizard in the field.

A.

GODDAMN.

WIZARD.

Anyhoo,

Let’s keep beating up on the Mariners! That would be fun, right? Game 2 will be kicking off in an hour or so…

LET’S GO YANKS

Follow me on twitter @JohnFerraro_

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