Come to think of it, Johnny Lasagna vs Gerrit Cole isn’t very fair. I request a do-over.

“Hey, MLB! Give us a do-over!”


*Sup, guys. It’s me, Johnny Pinstripes. After a couple busy days of recording/editing podcasts for Talkin’ Yanks: The Other Guys, I’m back on the blog game. The blog boy is back, as Kevin Durant would say.

I’m actually writing Games 2 and 3 of the Astros’ games at the same time. Back to back, if you will…

So, keep that in mind if they have a similarily somber tone. That is all. Back to the blog.+


This game was kinda identical to our first rendezvous in Houston: Took an early lead, lost it, fought back and got the lead back, and then, ultimately, fucked up.

I was all happy and pumped up in the first inning of this ballgame. Why?

Well, #MYFirstBaseman, of course!

Nothing puts a smile on my face more than a Luuuuuke homer. Okay, that’s not true, but you get what I’m saying.

Of course, we lost the lead though – we really didn’t have much to cheer about while getting fucking swept in Texas – spoiler alert.

The ‘Stros got a sac fly in the 2nd, followed by a 3rd inning homer from Altuve.

It wasn’t a great Sunday dinner of Lasagna on this night. Just kidding, this game was on a Tuesday…see what I was trying to do there, though?

His stat line was:

3 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 2 walks, 5 Ks. Pulled at 71 pitches.

We then saw a mish-mosh of relievers from the 4th inning onwards. It was a pretty motley crew, if I do say so myself.

Tarpley, Cessa, Holder, Green, and Kahnle.

Not exactly the big names that we were envisioning in Spring Training, am I right?

HOWEVER (Stephen A. Smith voice is back), they were able to hold down the fort, for the most part. We were to mount a nice little attempt at victory in the 6th, thanks to a Teddy Bear Gar 2 run double. I’ll admit, I do say that negatively…mostly because we all know this game came crashing down. Fuck, fuck fuck.


Clint, Clint, Clint. You just spent the better part of the last two weeks rehabbing your image. And now you fucked it all up again. You’re gonna need to hit like 10 more yabos to get back in our good graces. Get to it.

With 2 outs in the 7th, Holder was rolling. A pretty routine fly ball off the bat of Alex Bregman flew towards Clint the Wilding. Instead of just running in and making the catch, he dove – like an idiot.

And it all was downhill after this. The inning would have been over, but, instead, Holder gave up a RBI double to the next batter. Tie Game.

At the same goddamn time, our bats went cold, Chaddy Green gave up 3 runs (2 run double, sac fly) in the 8th and we lost 6-3.

As I sign off this game recap and head towards Game 3, I wish I had happier times to report. Sadly, I do not…

Follow me on twitter @JohnFerraro_

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